Grace, Unconditional Willingness, and the Power of Vulnerability

-from Soul of the Seasons by Melody Scout © 2016

Grace is the heavenly alchemical reagent that transforms rage into right action, sadness into joy, and hunger into satisfaction, grief into value and respect, and fear into the seeds of a new vision. Grace is a gift bestowed upon us by our Creator. It can’t be earned or purchased. It transforms the criminal into the crusader, the victim into the activist and the grief-stricken into those who carry a space of reverence for the grief of others. It  transforms the fearful into the sage. Some call this act of transformation infused with God’s grace—forgiveness.

If we do not wish to repeat our mistakes of the past we must become unconditionally willing to own our part in what happened, both the good and the not so good. We must look deeply into our relationships, not only at what we have generously given, but also what we have withheld. We must look at both how we have sacrificed for and supported our partners (or friends or family) but we also must confess our neediness and manipulation. We might need to examine exactly how we get our esteem needs met. Do we manipulate others into giving to us? Have we developed patterns of codependency or control or behaviors that may have helped us survive in the past but that now no longer serve us?

Taking this hard, unvarnished look at our behaviors requires vulnerability—and huge amounts of courage. Authentic vulnerability demands that our hearts become soft and supple and fluid. We must become willing to stand in the utter truth of the matter with our arms and minds wide open, and without judgment. We must say, here and now, that we are unconditionally willing to submit to this experience with love. That we are willing to see it differently, to judge it differently, to forgive, and to grow. That we are willing to be completely wrong, willing to let go of everything we cling to out of fear.

Only in this moment of complete surrender can we enter into our vulnerability so we might begin to feel clearer, more grounded. Being in a grace-filled state of vulnerability can be both terrifying and exciting and it’s the best thing we will ever do for ourselves and for our relationships.In this place we can trust that, I’ve no idea how this will turn out, but something tells me it will be okay.

There’s no magic pill or formula for healing the soul and ultimately the mind and body, especially after we have become ‘burned out’ and ‘stressed out’. But what is stress but an intense emotional expression that has not been fully integrated? We cannot effectively deal with our stressors if we remain unconscious to their origin. Only by entering into an unconditional willingness to become aware of our destructive thoughts and behaviors can we then embrace the amazing example of divine creation that we truly are. Only then can we move through our darkness and out into the light of love.


A Prayer for Unconditional Willingness:

This prayer is a three-part petition to The Divine for the transformation of emotional stuckness into an empowered place of choice. I find it serves me faithfully whenever I am confronted with difficult passages and my unmet needs have congealed my feelings.

I pray the first prayer…to be willing…and then, if the situation hasn’t shifted or if I’m still feeling stuck, I pray the second prayer—to see my unwillingness. If it still feels stuck, I pray the third prayer—to be willing to be willing. If I am truly unconditionally willing to become vulnerable, I usually find that some sort of shift happens, usually within twenty-four hours. If not, it’s a signal to me that there may be some resistance at play and I return again to the first prayer.


Three Prayers for Unconditional Willingness

Prayer One: Creator God, I recognize my unmet need of _________. It is my sincerest desire to be unconditionally willing to become vulnerable, to see or do whatever I need to in order to heal this issue.

Prayer Two: Creator God, I recognize my feelings of being “stuck.” I pray for the ability to see what I need to see so I might become vulnerable to your will. I pray now to transform my unwillingness.

Prayer Three: Creator God, I recognize my unwillingness to transform_______________ (name the issue). It’s hard and the pain (or whatever you may be feeling at this moment) is deep. I pray now to become willing to be willing to transform this experience.


Note: There are times that ‘to become willing to be willing’ is as close as we can get to letting go of a difficult experience, to surrender it to God, especially if it involves deep betrayal. But often, it may be the only prayer we need in order for a transformation to occur.